Alex Calvenzani

Eulogy
“We have ears but we do not hear
We have eyes but we do not see
We have mouths but we do not speak
Be Known
Alex is alive
In our hearts and soul

He is Eternal Light.”

Alex was born in Hollywood, Florida, on April 14, 1989. He was my birthday present as I was born the same day, April 14. His mother is Keiko Nakamura, from Kyushu Island, Japan.
When Alex was two years old, immigration began an expulsion case against Keiko because she had traveled to Japan visiting the dying father without asking permission.
Two years later we had lost the legal battle and contrary to family fairness laws, Keiko was expelled from the States. The plan was to make her Italian and then she could return with her new identity. It worked. However, our relationship did not last, and Keiko eventually left the USA with Alex.
Alex was uprooted from his birth home and from his father. He did not speak a word of Japanese and as he learned the Japanese language, including brush calligraphy, he forgot English.
When I visited him in Japan after three years of not seeing him, I wondered if he remembered me. As soon as he saw me, he jumped in my arms and immediately we were father and son.
He did not speak English anymore and I did not speak Japanese. Language does not matter in the world of love.
When I was in Japan, we walked together to school and we sat and played with all his Japanese friends. He was the most popular kid as he was differently beautiful. The merchants along the streets gave him free candies as they saw him.
At 10 years old he moved to England because his mother remarried. He was loved at home by his new stepfather, and always by his mother.
From his popular status, Alex had become a minority in a country marred with racism. He did not speak a word of English.
He confessed that in this change of life, he developed severe anxiety disorders. Nevertheless, he always hid his darkest thoughts and survived the ordeal.
Alex was quite entrepreneurial. While in England I was sending him American chewing gums that did not exist in England which he traded for cigarettes and then traded for cash.
Alex was not weak and when confronted with another racial slur in the school bathroom, he knocked two teeth out from the little racist.
At the age of 16 he came to the States and lost once again his world. He wanted to go back because he felt lost. At 18 he found love with Karissa who helped him to start a new life. Unknown to me, he went to depression and suffered anxiety attacks.
Two years ago, the marriage ended unexpectedly. He found himself without love, without his home, without his dogs. He felt betrayed and unwanted. When he came to me, I lived in one small one-bedroom apartment.
At one point he asked, “Do you want me daddy?” I answered, “you are everything to me, you are my love, my baby.”
He also said, “not to leave me alone.”
So, we moved into a two-bedroom and became inseparable. We created our beautiful garden which included his special fishpond and a fountain that was beautiful… until it became nasty, so we transformed it into a garden planter.
His room is filled with beautiful green plants and his favorite Manchester United flag on the wall. Rooney, his beloved dog bears the name of the team’s most famous player, Wayne Mark Rooney.
Within the two years Alex lost over 40 pounds, got a beautiful tattoo, and would go running daily so far that his legs would hurt.
I realize now that he was trying to run away from the evil voices.
I felt that Alex always carried some dark clouds, some hidden pain, which he never shared with anyone. I would do crazy things to break the spell. When we traveled in Italy, Japan, and the USA, we lit fires and we sat in hot baths. We climbed mountains. We danced together. (He said what are you doing?)
Alex loved to eat, and we would drive 45 minutes to Miami to go to Battubelin. Battubelin is a Genovese restaurant that has authentic food from my homeland.
His favorite dish: Spaghetti al tonno.
Also, Thai, Korean, Japanese, Indian, Vietnamese, and anything you put out there, he will eat it.
A steak would make him forget his worries.
As we hang-out, he made his own friends. All that met him will say that he was a gentle soul.
He never got mad at anyone except me. Like that night I jumped the table to strangle the guy who threw a drink on me. Alex was martial arts trained and he scolded me, “daddy you are too old to fight. No more please.”

And always said to lock the car (which I never do). That is, until the time that he found a thief in the car at midnight as he was coming back from his run. (He could not sleep well.) And he scolded me again. I used to laugh at him because no one scolds Paolo except my sweet son.
 

A few months ago, he felt he was ready for love, and the first woman that entered his soul soon ended up with her pounding at the door in the late wee hours and Alex imploring her to get out. He did not want to do anything more with her. He did not want his peace to be disturbed.
The second woman to enter his soul moved next door to us and in no time the two were dating. Happily, he said, “Dad, I think this is a long-term relationship because we are so alike.” However, the next day she left him.

We talked and said she was mean. He was suffering and he would get over it. He was sad.

The last day of his life on earth.
Saturday September 5th 2020
I organized something crazy; lets buy an Italian motorcycle. So, we went to Miami. He test-rode several motorcycles as they attempted to start the Moto Guzzi.
He said, “I had forgotten how good it feels to ride .” He ultimately fell in love with a Japanese Honda Rebel 500. We went to a lovely lunch as we waited for the paperwork. He rode back from Miami with the bike and I drove the car. We arrived home, and shortly thereafter, we went at the Boardroom bar. He said, “Daddy, I feel like a weight has lifted from my shoulders.” I left him with Gleb, one of his new friends, and he came back home shortly thereafter. He then went to see his ex. She was the last person to see him.
Whatever evil was said, whatever evil was done, that night, evil prevailed for a moment.

One life is taken, more lives will be reborn from this incredibly sad day and believe it: He is Eternal Light!

On one Italian trip, in a picturesque Tuscan village, as we were admiring the loveliness of the Tuscan valley, sunflower fields flowing in the wind, the shouting of a woman, (the mad woman of the village) attracted my attention. I am always intrigued by talking to crazy people, that’s why I talk to you.
When I asked her at who she was mad, she answered, “God” for taking her husband and at the husband for leaving her.
At the end I said “please do not be mad. Your husband is alive. Proof is you talk to him. He needs your love and he need your laughter so that his soul can rest in peace forever until you go to him.”

And so, I find myself like the mad woman shouting at God. And Alex comes to me and says, “daddy, don’t cry, I am sorry, I love you.”

Alexito, do not worry about me. I will soon come to see you when the Gods decide so.

Let’s Work and
Let Us Play!

 

13 + 7 =